!!!PROBLEM ALERT!!!

Okay so Josh is starting to get on my nerves lately… and I don’t know if it’s because I’m on my 6 moth of the pregnancy (and felling really irritated) or if his just being REALLY annoying! I mean his being really weird about stuff I thought we’d already gotten passed and his very absented to. His never around and when he is, his freaking out about becoming a father and that we are WAY too young to be parents. One day he became so mad at me for ‘becoming pregnant’ (like I did it on purpose or something (idiot)) and then he shouted at me, that if I hadn’t gotten myself pregnant we’d properly not still be together. Because we obviously don’t work, looking at how we are fighting now. But we are great together, for god’s sake we were the most popular couple in high school, and when little Liberty comes along we’ll be great as a family as well. Josh just has to stop being a jerk first…

My right as an American citizen !!!

Me and my mom were out and looking at prams. On the way home in the bus, I had the most unpleasant experience, there sat a little boy next to his mother and asked: Mother why is the child pregnant, I did not thought a child could be pregnant?

The mother said to the little boy: You are right. One should not be able to have a child when they self are one. But sweetheart, people who come from unskilled families who have had a young mother often get children young even though they should not because they do not have the resources to it as I have had with you.

I was so shocked by what the mother told her child and I should have turned around and said: It is a part of the American identity, to choose and be free. And yes there is a lot of different statistics that say all sorts of things about social heritage, but my child has as good chance of becoming U.S. president as your have if that's what my child wants to be!!!!!!

I did not say it, and I'm really sorry for that because that lady really deserved to be put in place... but how many of us haven’t think about often to return to a situation and wish they had answer back on something they did not do in the situation.

It´s a baby girl :)

I’m about 3 months in now, so I went to my scanning today and I found out that I’m having a little baby girl. JUST LIKE I ALWAYS WANTED!!! This will be so perfect even though Josh wanted a boy… don’t get me wrong I wanted one to but I guess I just wasn’t so pleased with the idea of calling my first born child ‘Josh junior’. He’s a good guy though, he’s really been there. Even though he was pretty shocked when he found out I was pregnant. I’m hoping he’ll be just as happy with a girl, but I’m not so sure.

So now I’m thinking of names… and the name Liberty kind of struck my mind as a possibility. I like it because it represents the freedom that I wish I had, to have this child. Although the pregnancy may not have been on purpose, the child is a blessing sent from heaven. I have the right, as an American citizen, to live by my free will. The holy ‘declaration of independents’ says so for the love of god. Liberty hmm… I wonder what Josh will think.

The system... It´s not okay !

Yesterday I told my grandmother that I am pregnant and my decision is to keep the baby. She was shocked but she also thinks I’m right in keeping it.

She’s furies with me for not waiting for my wetting night to have sex. She just doesn’t understand. I mean, I know my life is going to change and that I’m getting a whole new identity as a mother. But shit happens and I’m ready to live with the consciences.

And when you think about it, it is actually best for the body to have your children young. It is the society of today, which makes it rather difficult to have children as a young person. It is because of our entire educational system and I do not think it is okay that our system is designed the way it is. When my body have it better bye getting a baby now.

 I know that it will be really hard to find the founds to bring up a child with and find the time and get an education at the same time. But what choice do I have really. I pregnant and there’s nothing I can do about it. Because one thing is for sure, I will not kill my child.

So why not change the system, when in fact it is best for the body to have children young? Why is it me who has to compromise? Back in the days it was normal to have children early, but now it is a mistake and people look down on me. I simply do not understand it!

Oh my GOD

Today we went to church and after the service I said to my mother that I wanted to stay and help the priest.

When everyone else had gone, I went to the priest and told him that I was pregnant, he said: “The child is a gift from God and you can´t have an abortion, it is against our religion. Your parents will agree with me”.

A visit to the doctor

I did not go to school today. I went over to a doctor at the other side of the town. I would not go and see our family doctor, I was to embarrassed. After 30 minutes of waiting I finally came in to the doctor, an older woman with glasses. She made me pee in a cup and took an extra test, and it was clear, I was pregnant.

I told her about my situation, and she asked if we were religious at home, and I answer: “Yes we are very religious”. And then the doctor said: “Well, that could explained why you didn’t use a condom, due to the fact that communities with such religious beliefs doesn’t really talk with their children about sex and protection. I would advise you to get an abortion, but you should talk to your parents first.”

When I went home I got online to research what the doctor said, and I found out that Mississippi topped the list for conservative religious beliefs and teen birth rates.

Wuup !!!

 

This afternoon I was in the supermarket, shopping for a new lipstick and a pregnancy test, and when I were waiting in line to pay, an older man was staring at my pregnancy test. He asked me kindly if it was for me.I replied embarrassed: "yes."
He patted me on the shoulder and said, "My 19 year old niece is pregnant, and if you are pregnant, you must promise me not to be ashamed of it. Actually 34.4 out of 1000 births in the U.S. are by Teen Moms”
What a nice man!
When I got home I took the pregnancy test and guess what???
It was positive! Yeaaahh !!!